Friday, June 12, 2015

Musings on MacarOn, MacarOON!

My favorite treat from the village bakery when I was little were the giant, chewy, almond macaroons with rice paper on the bottom, which at that age were about the size of my head! In recent years the macaron (note spelling!) has become a massive baking trend, and I do really like them but I certainly do not have the patience to make them as beautifully as you see them in fancy patisseries.  Whilst the basic ingredients are the same for the two, ground almonds, sugar and egg white, the way you blend them is different and for me that's what makes the difference between macaroons and macarons. You could also argue that macaroons are the English version of French macarons, as I have never seen macaroons in any french recipe book that I've read. Although, if you are going to get into baking geography the Italians might want to chip in with the fact that the word macaron is derived from the Italian macarone or maccherone which means meringue and is what macaro/ons are both basically made of.  For some people, macaroons are in fact made with shredded cocnut and not nuts at all, but seeing as I loathe shredded coconut with a passion, you won't find any of that nonsense on this blog!  

Beautiful Laduree Macarons
Both confections are made by whipping egg whites with sugar to form a meringue base and then folding the almonds into this very gently to maintain the airiness of the batter so that they do not collapse when baked. I have tried making macarons several times with varying degrees of success. To get the distinctive crisp, smooth shell and a sort of ruffled bottom (that aficionados call its foot), macarons are usually made with very finely ground almonds, or almond flour and icing or confectioners sugar. This results in a much smoother mixture and also creates the distinctive shiny finish.  Two of these shells are then sandwiched together with butter cream (mmmm...) To make the classic Laduree macaron the shells have to be the same size which means you have to pipe the mixture out onto the baking sheets and I am just not patient enough for that!  Also, it makes so much more washing up and I inevitably get bored half way through the piping, which means I get sloppy, and I end up with different sizes, which then annoys me!  So whilst I can appreciate the beauty and deliciousness of the macaron, I will probably be a receiver and eater of them rather than a creator!

Macaroons on the other hand are so much easier to make and far harder to cock up- vital aspects for an easily bored baker like me!  This recipe is based on one I found in one of my Mum's ancient Reader's Digest cook books, but tweaked a bit to make the macaroons even more chewy.  Its very easy to scale the recipe up or down to however many egg whites you might happen to have.  One quantity of the mixture makes approximately 12 about 5cm in diameter.  I usually make 3 quantities, as these don't hang around for long!

1 egg white
3 oz caster sugar (90g)  If you have it use vanilla sugar.
2 oz ground almonds (60g)
Halved almonds to finish- one for each macaroon
Rice paper
(if you cant get rice paper use bake-o-glide on your baking trays as nothing sticks to it! You could try using baking parchment, but you may find they stick to it.  Seriously get some Bake-o-glide you can use it over and over again so it is totally worth it)

- Pre heat oven to 180C
- Line baking trays with rice paper or Bake-o-glide (the number of trays will depend on how much mixture you make)
- Beat the egg whites until they form stiff peaks.  If like me you sometimes have trouble telling if your egg whites are at stiff peak stage and panic about over beating them, then check out this post at the marvelous Joe Pastry website. The pictures and descriptions are great- no more under or over-whipped egg whites!  Unlike with macarons it's not the end of the world if you don't get the beating exactly right.
- Once you reach stiff peak stage, continue beating adding the sugar a tablespoon at a time allowing each one to combine fully before adding the next.
-  The mixture will become beautifully shiny and thick.  This is a basic meringue mix.
Would love to just stick my head in this bowl!
-  Gently fold the almonds into the meringue mix, trying not t deflate it too much.  A metal spoon or rubber spatula is ideal for this.  The mixture should be still quite stiff and thick, of you over stir it, it will get more liquid.  This isn't the end of the world it just means the finished macaroons will not rise as much and will probably spread more so will be thinner and crispier, but still yummy!
Fully folded mixture
- Using a couple of teaspoons, dollop the mixture out onto the rice paper, allowing space around each as they will spread a bit.
- Finish each macaroon with a half almond.
- If you want the macaroons to by extra golden you can brush the tops with egg white, but you don't have to.
Ready for baking
-Bake for about 12 minutes, but watch them like a hawk as they go from golden to burnt very quickly!  I was not eagle eyed enough and you can see a couple got a little bit crisped!

- Gently pull off the excess rice paper and then let them cool on a wire rack.

All done
And that's it really, except to eat and enjoy.  They'll keep for a few days in an airtight box, but mine usually disappear within 48 hours...

Monday, May 11, 2015

It's a hard knock life...

Yes, I've been reduced to quotes from musicals to express myself... I've never wanted this blog to be all about how shit having cf is, as for one thing I think its pretty obvious, and I've always lived in mortal fear of people thinking I am trying to get their sympathy... Fortunately, I think the number of people who read this blog are so negligible (don't ask me about how depressing my google stats are!) that probably no one will notice:-)

So anyway, I've been having a hell of a lot of ivs recently, its been pretty much every 3 weeks for several months and sometimes less...So I had to have one of 'those' conversations with the consultant last clinic, and I have been rather forced to confront some home truths.  'Those' conversations are the ones that you have about the big scary things, like the fact that the "drugs don't work" very well anymore (now it's 90s grunge songs), and I'm rather running out of options, so transplant is rearing it's ugly head once more.  You may well make it through the conversation without dissolving into a puddle of angry tears, but later on you have to actually face the facts, and I really don't want to.  My declining health has been so gradual that I find it hard to recognise the fact that I am this sick- sick enough to need a double lung transplant in the not too distant future.  I know that sounds daft, but it's only when I actually sit down and think about my daily life that I realise how much I'm struggling- physically and mentally.  Putting off going upstairs until you absolutely have to, because you don't want to cough your lungs up is not normal in a 34 year old.  Not being able to speak without getting out of breath- ditto.  Having to make other people walk at my pace cos there is no way I can go at theirs.... The list could go on, but frankly it's too depressing. But all this has occurred so slowly that it has just become 'normal' for me. If I had gone from being well to suddenly being really ill then it would be a lot easier to realise where my health is at now.  Cf is such an insidious disease that when you do finally confront what it has done to you, it is almost surprising! 

We've not given up completely just yet tho.  The consultants and I have a plan! Next time I need ivs, we are going to try and desensitise me to some of the meds I've previously been allergic to, which I'll have to have as an in patient sadly.  But it may mean that we can try some new treatment options and hopefully get a little bit longer off ivs, which would be really nice. So to try and alleviate the boredom I'm going to plan and get materials for a couple of crochet projects, and make some hats that I can then trim whilst incarcerated.  We have also just completed the purchase of a bungalow, that once we've done it up a bit (ok a lot!) will hopefully make my everyday life a lot easier and less stressful.  I'm also rather enjoying designing all the fun things we 're going to have in the new house, with Mr EB of course!   I'm not going to just stop living and doing things and being me, because my body is being difficult. 

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

HSM15 April- War & Peace

The April challenge for the HSM15 is War and Peace.  The extremes of conflict or long periods of peacetime can both influence what people wear, so for this month we have to make something that shows either the effect of war or peace. My chosen period is WWII

A little bit of info about WWII fashion and rationing.

Whilst food rationing had been in place since 1940, the imposition of clothing rationing was not announced until 1 June 1941.   With Great Britain effectively cut off from all supplies from Europe and a greatly diminished supply route from the USA, rationing sought to ensure a more equal distribution of what was available.  Each kind of clothing was allocated a 'points' value, which was based on how much fabric it took to make and how much labour went into its manufacture.  For example, a wool dress took 11 coupons compared to 2 for a pair of stockings or 8 for a pair of men's trousers.  Each adult had an allowance of 66 points to last a year, but as war production increased in the run up to D Day, the allocation shrank to just 24 during 1945-6. Customers had to plan how they would use their points very carefully, and the government constantly reminded the population of the complex and difficult choices they had to make to make their clothes last.  

Photo credit Wikipedia
Of course, the customer still had to pay for the garment as usual, but every type of clothing had the same points value regardless of the quality of the garment. So, a coat of cheap fabric would cost the same number of points as a robust coat which would last a lot longer. Wealthier customers were therefore better served by the rationing system, especially considering clothing prices were generally higher during the war due to the shortage of fabric and materials being commandeered for the war effort. To try and combat these problems the government introduced the Utility Scheme also on June 1st 1941, to ensure that low and medium quality consumer goods were produced to high standards at reasonable prices. Clothes made under the scheme were identified by the CC41 label an abbreviation of Civilian Clothing 1941 (the holy grail to vintage collectors!).  They were made with fabric that had a set specification of weight and weave called Utility Cloth.  

As well as rationing the number of clothes people could buy, the actual designs of garments were governed by strict rules.  The Making of Civilian Clothing (restriction orders) was passed in 1942; this forbade the wasteful cutting of clothes and set strictly enforced limits that tailors, dressmakers and home sewers, had to abide by.  The restrictions were extensive for example, a dress could have no more than 2 pockets, 5 buttons, 6 seams in the skirt and only 2 inverted or box pleats, or 4 knife pleats.  No unnecessary ornamentation or decoration was allowed.
Utility Suit designed by Inc Soc.1942
 Collection of the V & A.
To demonstrate that these limitations were not an end of style and fashion, the Board of Trade employed a group of London's top fashion designers, including Hardy Amies and Royal favorite Norman Hartnell, to create a year round collection. The Incorporated Society of London Fashion Designers or Inc.Soc as they became known was founded in Jan 1942.  They produced designs that could be made with a limited amount of fabric e.g. 1.8 metres for a dress, which resulted in an emphasis on line and cut and also reduced the cost. Whilst government standardised fashion had not been seen as a good idea by many, the fashion press appreciated the new collection of attractive, affordable clothes.  British Vogue praised them for being elegant, simple designs that were eminently wearable - 'All women have the equal chance to buy beautifully designed clothes suitable to their lives and incomes'.  An example of Inc Soc design can be seen in the beautifully tailored suit pictured above from the V&A's collection.  It was probably designed by Elspeth Champcomunal in 1942 (Inc Soc designers were not always given direct credit, to prevent favouratism).  It exemplifies the tailored, slim line silhouette, with pronounced shoulders and a nipped in waist (reminiscent of the uniforms worn by the forces) that became the standard wartime look.  It is also beautifully made and finished from a hard wearing woolen tweed.  The scheme proved to be extremely successful, by the end of the war about 85% of all civilian clothing and fabric bore the utility label.

Photo credit Imperial War Museum
Perhaps the most famous response to the rationing of clothing was the Make do and Mend campaign.  The campaign 'was not merely designed to revive the lost arts of darning and patching, but to raise morale by showing how old clothes can be turned into really smart and attractive new ones'  Posters and leaflets, such as the one pictured,  encouraged women to go through their old clothes (and their husbands old clothes) and repurpose them for themselves and their children.  Another important facet of the campaign was teaching people to care for and repair clothes they already owned to make them last longer and preserve the precious coupons.  Women became ever more imaginative and creative in recycling, and renovating old clothes and creating stylish, home made accessories. The government was genuinely concerned with maintaining the morale of the public, particularly women who were vital for the war effort.  By 1945 2.2 million women were working in war industries, building everything from ships to aircraft.  Maintaining their personal appearance was vital to keep morale on the home front high.

Ok, so that's quite a lot of background info on rationing! As you can tell I find this period of fashion history somewhat fascinating.  I have always been in awe of the women of this period such as my Nan, who maintained their own style with such creativity and ingenuity. I wanted to make something that one of them might have actually made and worn so decided to use an actual pattern that was available during in 1942. I first saw the pattern (pictured left) in one of my many costume history books -The 1940's Lookbook by Mike Brown.  As with so many period publications you can now find a copy of the original online.  This pattern is available to download from Etsy here for the bargain price of £2.08. It's really very simple to follow and I made mine entirely from scraps of felt I had left over from my hat making, so definitely coupon friendly!  I'm not quite sure exactly what I am going to use them for, possibly a brooch as suggested in the pattern, but I rather like them on the boater I used as a background in the pictures.  Either way I am very pleased with how they turned out and will definitely be making some more.

The Challenge: War and Peace
Fabric: Felt
Pattern: Bestway, Buttonhole and Necklace
Year: 1942
Notions: Thread,  Safety Pin
How historically accurate is it? 95% I didn't follow the pattern to the absolute letter
Hours to complete: 2 hours
First worn: Not yet worn
Total cost:Nothing -all from stash

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Rainbow Granny Scarf

I have to admit to being a major Pinterest addict.. I may need to join a support group, if there is one. Most of my pins will never get used as anything other than a picture of something that I think is pretty, but some have actually proved amazingly useful and inspired my sewing, hatting and crocheting.  One of my favorite finds on Pinterest is Sarah London, a crochet designer from Australia.  She has loads of fantastic crochet patterns, some are even free, including a designed for a Granny stitch based scarf called The Arctic Scarf  which incorporates all the bold colours that she is most known for.   Although I really liked this pattern it was not quite what I wanted, but it is gorgeous nonetheless. So I decided to create my own pattern-eek!

The Granny Square is a classic and super easy crochet technique which I love making, as you don't have the fiddly first step of most crochet patterns of crocheting a long chain and then trying to crochet into that.  What I wanted tho was not a square but a long, thin rectangle- ie scarf shaped! This did mean that I needed to start with a long chain-sigh... However,  I found a fantastic tutorial (Pinterest again!) on how to make a granny rectangle as the basis for a blanket at the marvelous Crochet Again website.  It even has a stitch diagram, which I find much easier to follow than written instructions. So all I needed now was some yarn.  Fortunately for me The Sheep Shop in Cambridge stocks all the colours of Rico's Creative Cotton, an aran weight, 100% cotton yarn, so I could pop in and choose my rainbow. In my opinion it is more of a heavy DK than a proper aran weight, as it feels a lot lighter than any other DK yarn I've used.  It comes in so many gorgeous, rich colours, and being 100% cotton it doesn't make my hands itch and go pink when I use it.

Anyway, as we all learnt in school the seven colours of the rainbow are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet (or Richard Of York Gave Battle in Vain!).  For my scarf you'll need a ball of each colour, plus an extra ball of violet- as the scarf is finished with an extra row of this colour and fringe.  So here is my first crochet pattern!

Rainbow Granny Scarf

You will need seven colours of Arran weight yarn.  If used Rico Creative Cotton in, Red-05, Orange-74, Yellow-63, Green-49, Sky Blue-37, Royal Blue-39, Cardinal-11.  The closest I could get to a rainbow. You need one ball of each colour and two of the last colour.
Finished dimensions
Length-3m 20cm  excluding fringe

Foundation Row

  • Using a 5mm hook and red yarn- Chain 360!!!  Yes I know that is ridiculously long, but that's what I wanted. 
  • If you want your scarf to be slightly less mad, then chain 300; you will also not need to worry about the yarn running out in the later rounds as it got pretty close with mine! (or you can make it any length of chain you like as long as its a multiple of 3)

Row 1

  • In the 6th chain from the hook 3 Treble crochet (from here on I will call this a Treble group or TrGp).  
  • Skip two chain, then TrGp in next chain.
  • Continue this pattern (skip two chains then Tr Gr in the next) all the way along the chain until there are only 3 chain left
  • Treble crochet in the last chain.
  • Fasten off red yarn and weave in ends.
This results in a long, thin ribbon of crochet that looks like this-

Row 2, Orange yarn
  • Begin in a skipped chain space, or between two treble groups, either attach your yarn and chain three (equals one treble) or use the amazing technique called the Standing treble crochet that I learnt at which produces a totally invisible start!  (It is called a standing double crochet in American terms).
  • One treble in the chain space
  • Chain one, then TrGp in next chain space.
  • Repeat (Chain one, TrGp) in each chain space until you reach the end of the red row.
  • To work around the end of the row work a TrGp, 3 chain, TrGp, 3 chain, TrGp.  (The chains from the corners that you will work into in the next row- you can see this in the picture below)  
  • Continue making chain one, TrGp repetitions all way along the other side of the red foundation row.
  • When you reach the other end of the scarf work the end in the same was as the first. (TrGp, 3 chain, x 3).  Then work along the first side until you reach the starting point.
  • Chain one and work one treble in to the first chain space where you started.
  • Join to the top of the first treble with a slipstitch, cut the yarn and weave in the end, or-
  • Cut the yarn, leaving a 6 inch tail, and pull the tail out from the last stitch.  Then using a wool needle, pass the tail under the top loop of the first treble crochet of the row then back through the top of the last treble to create a loop that joins the two trebles. Weave this end in.  This produces a seamless join- there are two joins in the picture below-Can see you see them?!
First three rows.
Rows 3 (yellow), 4 (Green), 5 (Blue), 6 (indigo), and 7 (Violet), are made exactly the same way as Row 2, they are just slightly bigger.  If you'd like a diagram do check out Crochet Again's post mentioned above.

Once you've finished all 7 rows, you can block the scarf by pinning it to an ironing board and gently pressing it with a steam iron and a press cloth, or if you prefer you can wet block it- cotton yarn will take either.  I then finished mine with a fringe.

Making the Fringe

Fringe is dead easy to make and add to a scarf. I used a postcard to make my fringe, but any piece of card or a cd case or anything that is the twice the length of fringe you want is fine as a template.  My postcard is 16cm long, so the finished fringe will be 8cm long.  To make the fringe pieces, wrap your yarn around your template a few times- don't do too many wraps or it get more fiddly to hang on to it all.  Cut the yarn at the bottom of the template, keeping hold of the yarn on the template, then cut it again at the top of the template. This will leave you with several individual lengths of 16cm.

Then taking one length, fold it in half.  Using your crochet hook, pull the folded end through the top of a corner stitch at the bottom of the scarf to create a loop-
Use the hook to catch the two ends of the strand and pull them all the way through the loop you have just made-
Pull the ends gently to tighten the knot against the scarf.  Repeat this process all the way along the end of the scarf.
You may need to trim the ends of the fringe a little to get them completely level.  Now, take your scarf wrap it several times around your neck and feel smug!  I hope the pattern is clear and easy to follow, any problems do drop me a line or a comment and I will try and help.

Pattern  Rainbow Granny Scarf, Copyright Rosalind Evans.  You are welcome to reproduce this pattern for personal use, but please do not use it for commercial gain. Please do not reproduce my photos or the text of this pattern without contacting me first. If you would like to link to this pattern please do, but I would ask that you let me know.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Grey Feathered Everyday Hat

I got a new block for my birthday, and what with one thing (my crappy health) and another (work stuff) I still had not used it nearly six months later!  It's  a block I commissioned from the always fabulous Guy Morse Brown.  It's a mixture of some of the designs they offer in their catalogue, and it will work with all the other blocks I have previously bought from them.  I really like crowns with valley details round the top, like the classic pork pie hat.  Unlike the pork pie, I also wanted the valley to have a small 'v'cut out at the centre front and gently sloping sides rather than straight sides-  

You can see the brim block that I used in the background.
So, now I'm finally feeling a bit better and have some time, it was at last time to try my new block out.  It has also been ages since I have done any feather work, so I decided that I would do a feather hat band on my new shape, as it would not distract too much from the nice shape of the crown.  I've learnt a lot about using feathers in millinery from one of the first millinery books I ever bought- Classic Millinery Techniques by Ann Albruzio.

I don't think that this is still available in print, but you can certainly get it second hand on Amazon. The designs in it are perhaps a little dated, there are a lot of 1980's style pill boxes, but the techniques it teaches are very useful, and well illustrated, especially the feather work.  So the first thing was to block the basic shape in the grey felt cone I had chosen-

The detail in the crown top is held in place by a piece of blocking reed and pins, the bottom of the brim is created with a finger groove and string.  I really like having a finger grove at the bottom of a brim shape as it makes it so easy to get a really smooth clean brim line.   Once the felt had dried, I used size to stiffen the crown and hold in the shape and trimmed the excess felt off the bottom of the brim.  I replaced the hat on the block to make gluing the feathers to it easier, as having the block to press against gives you a stronger bond.  To keep the hat band straight and level I marked the line I wanted with chalk and my hem marker. 
The first thing to do when adding feathers to a hat is create a 'lift'.  This is basically a long, thin piece of paper folded in half and pinned to the hat at the centre back, as you can see above.  You can then glue the first feather to the hat over lapping the lift.   Before attaching the feathers its best to hold it in place first to check how it will look (see below), and then trim some of the fluff from the bottom of the feather.  Don't remove it all as it will give the next feather a bit more volume, but you can trim the fluff down so it won't show through the next feather, or poke out from the top or bottom of the band.   You should also remove about a cm of the fluff from the quill of the bottom of the feather, so you can glue the quill really securely to the hat..  You can cut it off with scissors but the easiest way is just to grip the fluff in one hand close to the quill and hold the quill with the other, then just pull the fluff away with a quick downward movement. The lift is then left pinned in place as you work around the hat, feather by feather.
Because feathers are not man made they will all be a bit different, so don't expect every single one to line up perfectly or the hat band to be the exact same width all the way round. What you are aiming for is as smooth an overlap as possible and trying to keep the band the same width as much as possible.  Once you've worked your way around the hat towards the CB you can use the lift to raise the first feathers up, which allows you to then glue the last feathers underneath them and create an invisible join.
The lift holding the first feathers out of the way.
Can you see the join!?
As you can see, feather work gets very messy! It doesn't matter how careful you are, the stray fluff will get everywhere and stick to everything...  The best way I have found of tidying it away is to use a piece of sticky tape to catch it on, then fold it up and throw it away, I've even been known to put the tape in a bag and then throw it away. However, I guarantee you'll still find bits of fluff for the next few days, especially on your socks!  Another good tool to have on hand when using feathers is a toothbrush.  Its very useful for brushing small areas of the felt and also giving the feathers a light comb once they are glued on.  I'm hoping to get a lot of wear out of this design as it should go with everything, the next hat will be a bit more flamboyant!

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Blue cloche - Historical sew monthly

So last year I totally failed to take part in the Historical Sew Fortnightly which is organised by the marvelous Dreamstress. This is a great idea, whereby sewing challenges are set fortnightly, and participants complete them by recreating historical garments, in 2015 the challenges will be monthly. I really wanted to take part last year but things like getting married, or being ill, or making other peoples wedding dresses took up all my time and all my good intentions went phut.  However, this year things are going to be different. As mentioned in a previous post, I have decided that dead lines are no longer my friend so I'm changing my work patterns to suit my crappy health.  This does leave me some more time to do some me sewing, and so here is my first effort for the Historical Sew Monthly. 

The February challenge is Blue, to make an item that features blue, in any shade from azure to zaffre. I've been wanting to do some more free form blocking so a 1920's pleated cloche is my first challenge. I began by blocking the hood over my domed hatblock as I wanted the top of the hat to have a classic, rounded bell shape.  When it was dry I marked the head fitting line (where the hat will sit on the head) using my hem marker.  I'm quite pleased with this way of marking the headline as it lets you decide the depth of crown you want really easily and you don't have to take it off the block first.
Once the hood had dried I removed it from the dome block and started to shape it on my malleable wig head which I covered in cling film to protect it from any dye leaching from the hood when I steamed it.  I took inspiration from some extant examples of felt cloches that I found online. The first is a blue fur felt cloche with lovely pleats at the back, it was for sale a while ago on Vintage Martini. The second is a 1928 hat by Miss Fox that is in the V and A Museum, this time the pleats form part of the brim at the front.
I decided to focus my pleats at the back to create an asymmetric sweep around the base of the head and then hand form a turned up brim at the front.  I used blocking reed to secure the front head fitting so it would not stretch it out of shape whilst forming the brim.
And finished-really must tidy up my workroom!  I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Now I just need an occasion to wear it to....

The Challenge: February:Blue 

Fabric: Wool felt
Pattern: No pattern, based on extant examples.
Year: 1920's
Notions: Millinery petersham
How historically accurate is it? The wool felt hood is period accurate and the cloche is entirely hand sewn.  I used modern water based hat sizing, as the chemical version that is technically accurate is seriously toxic! So 95% accurate.
Hours to complete: about 10 hours, not including drying time.
First worn: not worn yet 
Total cost: I have had the felt hood for ages so not exactly sure! They cost about £5 and maybe £2 for the petersham and thread.  So approx £7.  

Monday, January 05, 2015

2014 Round-up and 2015 Plans

Well its a New Year, an obvious time to take stock of things and plan for the future.  2014 was a very mixed bag of a year.  ON the positive side I had some fabulous times with friends and family and totally the best day of my life so far, when I married my beloved Mr EB in June. I couldn't have asked for a better day, the weather was perfect, food was amazing and we are so lucky to have so many lovely people in our lives who came to share it all with us.  Sadly, the year also contained way, way too much crap!  I spent two weeks in Papworth in March/April plus a further three weeks at home on ivs being treated for Micobacterium Chelonae, I can honestly say that the treatment was utterly horrible-I have never been so sick in my life!  So that was hilarious fun,  then in October my health was the worse its ever been, i ended up back in Papworth and oxygen dependent for the first time in my life.  I don't think I really appreciated just how ill I was at the time, probably because going into denial was the only way I could cope with it.  I had another round of the micobacterium treatment (yay more ridiculous nausea!) and spent three weeks in Papworth and another two weeks on ivs at home.  It really was a horrible experience, I had one evening when I simply could not catch my breath, my O2 saturation plummeted and the nurses bunged me straight on oxygen.  In retrospect I was really scared, and it still scares me just how bad I got and how quickly, but at the time I was surprisingly calm, as I wasn't totally aware of what was going on.  The next ten days or so were spent pretty much on oxygen 24/7 which whilst it definitely made me feel better, meant I was also stuck in bed for pretty much the whole time-very dull!  I became very weak and lost a spectacular amount of weight during October and the only reason I didn't end up have to NG feed was that I had a total freak out about it and managed to persuade the dietitians I would start drinking the dreadful milkshake supplements (which I have and thank God the weight is slowly getting back to an acceptable level).

This health crash has forced me into having to reassess my life, yet again-bloody CF!  Trying to stick to my motto of 'adopt, adapt and improve', I'm attempting to view this as a positive thing, but mostly I'm just a bit confused as to what I am going to do.  Working to a deadline is just way too stressful when you can't tell if you may suddenly end up stuck in hospital unable to do anything for three weeks...So work is going to have change a lot, I'm just not quite sure how yet! More hats and embroidery seem one way to go, but I don't know how I'm going to sell anything-suggestions gratefully received...

We are also considering moving to a new house that will make my life a bit easier on the domestic front.  Stairs are definitely no longer my friend.  It's not that I can't do them, I can, but when I'm not feeling great (which is increasingly often), when I get to the top I either feel terribly faint or have a massive coughing fit-not ideal! Our house only has an upstairs bathroom which is a bit problematic; so we are on the look out for a bungalow- I feel so old!  I love George Street and really don't want to have to go through the stress of moving, but equally I am increasingly conscious that I cant keep up with the domestic side of life, not to mention the garden-I really do feel utterly useless at times! So, we are considering moving now before I get much worse and it becomes harder.  So it looks like there will be some big changes ahead in 2015.